Preserved Topic: How DARE you Masterbate!! (Page 1 of 1)

Holy smokes!
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/index.html

I... don't know where to begin...


---
I, Warjournal, Techincal-Slop Author Extraordinaire.

Jeez.

It's the abstinence of masturbation that can lead to aggression and depression. (IMHO)

Well off hand... i'd say it's a joke ;-)

nj

It's definitely a joke.

That whole nearsightedness thing and the "up to 5% of Americans don't masterbate" thing tipped me off.

Kinda funny

Is that the reason that I am blind???

Whadya say??? Speak up I can't hear you!...

OOOPs...wrong affliction... never mind.

Well....okay then. If that was a joke then it was very well crafted. The hate-mail was pretty heavy.

That article sounded as if someone from my church wrote it.....they all live in the Middle Ages.

But the thing that really freaks me out is that people I know at my church would probably put those cures and preventions of masturbation into practice...no joke.

"luxo wonders of to the doctors and asks him if there is any chance of his remaining sight improving"

Just a question Warjournal: How the hell did you come across this website????????

-=Luxo Jr.=-

Doin' wierdassed animations since 1986

[This message has been edited by Luxo_Jr (edited 06-10-2001).]

The funniest part is where it says
'We need the same tactics and the same kind of get-tough attitude that has been so successful in the War On Drugs!'

1)uhhh...success?
2)What, like killing South Americans???

mobrul

A link posted at other forums that I hang out at.

The two things that really get me about that site:

1) Very thorough.
2) Lunacy Factor.

Jeez. I'm still at a loss for words regarding that site.

Yeah, I might think it was a joke, but I really don't think it was...

I am writing to everyone he says to tell to support this, and to tell them to drop it, that is the most assining thing I have ever read.

-mage-

They say it's ok to masterbate. Some pro books do say that. So, which one should I trust? But, some of the facts are true, IMHO.

nope, I checked, not a single true fact in there.

The rundown:

Myth:Masturbation is harmless.
Reality:Medical science proves that chronic Masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.
Truth: None of this has ever been proven by modern science.

Myth:There are bigger problems than Masturbation, like drugs and AIDS.
Reality:Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!
Truth: Only if they left their jobs in order to masturbate and even then masturbation is a side effect not the problem...

Myth:Masturbation is not immoral.
Reality:Read your Bible. God was so offended when Onan spilled his seed upon the ground that God struck Onan dead! It is true that Onan wasn't Masturbating, but the point is that God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason.
Truth: The whole biblical thing is completely off base. The reason Onan was punished only indirectly related to the fact that he spilled his seed on the ground. It was based on the point of his actions rather than the way in which he chose to fulfill his wishes.

Myth:Masturbation is a "Victimless Crime."
Reality:Theological experts on Masturbation have come to the conclusion that Masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that Masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators.
Truth: Theological experts? Show me some names and degrees before you decide to make such a general claim. Practically all rapists, sodomites, child molesters and pornography expertc started out as children but I don't see anybody pushing for infanticide.

Myth:Americans value their "Freedom" and will never stand for Masturbation being outlawed.
Reality:Masturbatory devices are already illegal in Texas. The police in San Antonio and Austin have aggressively enforced this law.
Truth: The devices in question may be used as masturbatory devices but that's not the reason they are being outlawed. Until they decide to outlaw your hands there will be no "outlawing" of "all" masturbatory devices.

Myth:But everyone's doing it!
Reality:Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't Masturbate.
Truth: This is the one that got me laughing. A whopping 5%! (*note sarcasm). That's one out of twenty people. So of all this guys nineteen friends he's the only one who decided to go on a crusade. Hehe It doesn't look like masturbation is the problem.

"In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators."

So did practically all shoe salesmen, charity organizers, interior decorators, window cleaners, farmers, weathermen, ship's captains, photographers, actors, inventors, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, marine biologists, pilots, painters, telephone operators, game-show hosts, data processors, pyrotechnicians, professional drivers, mechanics, tree surgeons, nurses, stenographers, language interpreters, Foley artists, museum docents, race-track announcers, cable installers, grocery baggers, mathematicians, welders, soda jerks, barbers, cartoonists, writers, zookeepers, policemen, radio personalities, skiiers, winemakers, marathon runners, astronauts, opticians, historians, miners, fishermen, animal trainers...and, oh yeah, Web designers.

Glad you didn't include Film Directors and Animators but then again.....I could be the first!!

-=Luxo Jr.=-

Doin' wierdassed animations since 1986

*Lops off a South American's head* Guess you won't be doing *that* anymore!

ups, I did again! *g*

well, is that so. A German once said that you get hair on your right hand from masturbating. Everybody in our class checked his/her right hand.
That dude got us good! *g*

K10


only change remains

Hmmm...makes sense...I always though Hitler was a complete wanker.




In the beginning, there was the word...and the word was 'God', although by the time it reached the other end of the phone line... the word was 'Gznd'

I couldn't tell if this was a joke or not till I got to the hate mail.... whoo... had me scared there. Maybe I'm a secret optimist or something, but someone believing something like that just scares the crap out of me. I'd like to think that people are semireasonable... though some of the idiots writing the hate mail kind of bother me too.

Err, silence, gotta disagree with all the facts being "untrue", I could quite quickly put together a Biblical argument against it for ya. The scripture they cited wasn't too supportive, but anything dealing with lustful thoughts could quite easily be used.

Chris

KAIROSinteractive

Besides all that...my mom told my brother if you touch it......it WILL fall off

~Some drink at the fountain of knowledge...others just gargle~

Tell ya' what, Fig. You put together your argument and I'll put up a counter argument on why you're wrong. Anything dealing with lustful thoughts is a bit to broad to be taken seriously. In fact, if you go that route, you invalidate the basic human attraction response becuase that would fall under the "lustful thoughts" category as well. In fact, you'd probably have to come up with some, "oh, well, except for married people", special cases. In which case, you would only have come up with another reason for a case by case determination instead of an actual moral or philosophical reason against it.

Without pulling out "the book" I'll paraphrase, sounds like you already know the verse:
Any man who looks lustfully after a woman has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

"Lustfully" and "I think she's cute" are two very different looks. If you don't agree I'd ask Shi or any of our other female inmates and see what they say. Unless you can convince me that the act of masturbation is carried out with a pure, blank mind (which I can't say I'll agree with) then you've committed adultery in your heart, by Christ's own words a sin.

Fire away.

Chris

KAIROSinteractive

yes. lustful and "ain't she cute" are different

as for the rest of your argument: Hooray for Agnostics!
er, Buddhists.. or was that Hindu? umm maybe Zoroastrian? uh um.. oh well, they all speak out against adultery except for the men.. or is that the Mormon?

Good job on the verse. It's Matt. 5:28 and the Revised Standard Version goes:
"But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

The passage in question occurs when Jesus is explaining his interpretation of the original commandments. The question of what exactly the word "lustful" means in this context is under debate. I'd agree with you that "I think she's cute" may not be considered "lustful", but that is not what I was talking about.

It is a natural human reaction to be attracted to people that we define as beautiful in our own eyes. In and of itself that attraction is not considered "lustful", but masturbation can make use of that attraction without turning to lust. And again, it is not the act, it is the underlying principle.

You don't need to masturbate to lust after someone, but one doesn't necessarily follow the other. As an analogy, masturbation at work on your lunch break is not a problem, but doing it when you're on the clock would be a different story. It is not the masturbation that is wrong, it is the dereliction of duty.

I've always wondered about that verse. Context is *very* important.

You can't control your emotions and urges, but you can control how you react to them. Guilt based on actionless emotions is one of the nastiest manipulative, controling techniques I've ever seen -- a technique I've seen used time and time again generally by politicians and religious leaders. But that's a diffeent can of worms.

Yeah, context.

As long as you don't violate individual rights, masterbation is not immoral.

I can't honestly say that I've come to a conclusion on whether masturbation is always wrong or not. So I won't even comment on that.

Context has been mentioned and I'm really glad because that is so crucial to understanding anything we read in Scripture. I do know that in Jesus' day, the prevailing teaching was that a man could have all the lustful thoughts he wanted in his mind as long as he didn't act on them. The teachers of the law had become very legalistic and abandoned the moral foundation or the original intent of the Law of Moses. So in that context, you can see why Jesus would be using the language he did. He certainly wanted to set the record straight that what we think *does* matter.

Sometimes I lust after Bugimus. Is that wrong?

Here's the bottom line according to me. Its my body, fuck you if you think you can tell me what do with with it. Now, if you want to tell me that I can't flail my leg in the general direction of someone's crotch, fine, that imposes on their rights. Just don't tell me what I can and can't do, at home, alone, while looking at Bug's website.

A man has urges you know.

krets, there are some things man was not meant to know, and I believe that this is one of those things.

Dogma paraphrase

"You masterbate more than anybody on the planet."

"So? Everybody knows that."

"But when you're doing it, you're thinking of guys."


I like Dogma. Had a good conversation or two about context and interpreting the Holy Bible.

ooooookkkkkk... I've never considered myself or my website a "dude magnet" before. Krets, I didn't just nearly fall out of my chair on that one but I landed flat on the floor laughing my guts out multiple times and then got up and repeated the whole procedure.

Thanks, really... I'm flattered... no I'm disgusted... wait... I mean... LOL